I have a theory.
It’s a theory on why most entrepreneurs don’t make it.
And it starts back in the W-2 world.
It starts back in the employee world.
It’s May.
Your graduation cap and tassel are on.
The world is truly your oyster.
You have a month off before you report to your first career job out of college.
You know what the expectations are.
You read the job description before you applied.
All of it was very clearly laid out.
How they will measure your success or failure.
It’s all totally clear.
Your first month goes great.
You get it – it’s all clear.
Yes, you BUST YOUR ASS.
But you go home with this insane feeling of accomplishment.
You are CRUSHING it.
You know it, your manager knows it, your team knows it.
But after a while, you start to feel like a cog.
A cog in a machine.
Just a meaningless, voiceless cog.
It starts as a whisper.
Then grows to a yell.
Next thing you know, seemingly every cell in your body wants you to leave.
But is it really just this job?
Will I ever be happy working for someone else?
Man, I’d love the freedom of working for myself.
I could find another job, one that challenges me.
I could apply for a different role in the company.
But what if I struck out on my own?
My best friend from high school did it and she loves it.
She said she will never go back.
The inner dialogue comes for us all.
It’s hard to resist.
The longing for something better, that is.
But it’s human nature. It’s how we’ve evolved.
It’s okay.
It’s normal.
Whether you move roles in your company.
Or move companies within your role.
The voice never goes away.
You just get better at coming up with excuses on why the voice is unreasonable.
Oh, I have a family now.
I just got married.
I am trying to pay off my student loans.
The excuses are many and they are good my friends.
But inevitably some of us say,
“Screw it”
And jump ship.
We say goodbye to the 401k matches.
Goodbye to the $20 primary care co-pay.
Goodbye to the snack and beverage pantry.
Goodbye to the ping pong table.
Goodbye to the gym subsidy.
Goodbye to the startup branded vests and backpacks.
Goodbye to the, “So where do you work?” conversations.
Goodbye to the open bar holiday parties.
Goodbye to the co-workers you go to happy hour with.
Goodbye to the 1-2-1’s.
Goodbye to the weekly Monday morning meetings.
Goodbye to the transportation subsidy’s.
Goodbye to the tech hoodies.
Goodbye to the free coffee.
Goodbye to the unlimited vacation policy.
Goodbye to the linear career progression.
Goodbye to the popular acceptance of your career path.
Goodbye to the certainty.
Goodbye to the ability to rest your head at night knowing you accomplished everything that’s in your job description.
You were safe.
You were crushing it.
You were leading your team on the dashboards.
You were in line for a promotion.
But that was then. And this is now.
Now, you’ve decided to strike out on your own and see if you can pull off the whole “Work for yourself thing”.
Now you wake up with an overwhelming sense of freedom and optimism in the air.
Now, it’s no longer your company you wear on your back and in your wallet..
It’s YOU.
You get started right away.
You don’t skip a beat.
You can’t afford it.
You know it’s gonna take some hustle to get you there.
You have to build your idea from the ground up.
It’s all on you.
No one else.
The first two months fly by.
It’s complete and utter bliss.
It’s many, many, many slaps in the face.
But you’re strong. You’re mentally prepared for this.
You’re grinding and you love it.
Your a badass now. You run your own start-up.
Your old co-workers think you’re awesome.
They envy you.
The freedom. The flexibility. The risk.
It’s truly seductive.
You love your new path in life.
You really, truly do.
Things are going well.
You’re making sales.
Your customers are happy.
You even hired that girl named Bianca last week.
Isn’t she a stud?
But somethings missing.
Something is not quite adding up.
You don’t feel the same when you leave to go home.
You don’t feel that sense of accomplishment.
But why?
It doesn’t make any sense.
You’re working 5x as hard as you did at your last job.
And you were the BEST at your last job.
Hell, you led your team on all the dashboards!
You were on the executive track for goodness sake.
Plus, you’re doing everything now! Not just your expertise, but everything the business needs.
You’re like a one-man circus act.
But that feeling is gone.
It’s totally and completely gone.
It occasionally pops up and lasts for a minute or two.
But then, just like a cool breeze that rolls across your face.
It’s gone.
You have a type A personality.
You know it – everyone knows it.
You were like a drug addict at your last job.
Not in a literal sense like our Wolf of Wall Street friends.
But very, very similarly, you were addicted.
Addicted to the sale.
Addicted to the line of code.
Addicted to the process completion.
Addicted to the dashboards.
Addicted to the “Save” button on your CRM.
You were utterly and completely addicted to that incredible, life-giving, feeling of accomplishment.
That feeling of accomplishment that you get over and over and over again at your job.
You know what’s expected of you, they know what’s expected of you.
You do the work, get a pat on the back, and go home happy.
They’re happy.
You’re stoked.
You go crush a Soul Cycle class then a few Moscow Mules with your friends.
It all adds up to a day full of accomplishment.
But you quickly realize it’s not feeling the same anymore.
Sure, you still go to Soul Cycle but you can’t let go anymore.
You can’t get your mind off work anymore.
Something feels unfinished.
“I shouldn’t be doing this right now.”
You say to yourself.
“I should be finishing that proposal.”
“Following up with that angry customer.”
“Checking my inbox for that email.”
At drinks with your friends is worse.
Especially when they start to joke about how that angry customer is not their problem.
Hell, you even used to get in on the jokes when you were working alongside them.
It was funny and kinda reassuring to know that at the end of the day, it wasn’t your problem!
So what if a customer is mad?
So what if we lose that piece of business.
Yeah, it will suck, I’ll have to explain what happened to my boss.
But it’s no skin off my back.
It’s not coming out of my paycheck.
The feeling of accomplishment is gone now.
That’s it.
I don’t feel like I am accomplishing anything anymore.
You’ve finally put your finger on it.
You’re still not sure why.
But you know it’s true.
And it never, NEVER goes away.
You could be doing more.
You should be doing more.
What if someone needs support right now?
What if my competitor finishes that feature before I do?
Can I compete if they are first in the customer’s mind?
I wonder how close they are.
I wonder what their founder is doing right now?
Is she grabbing a drink with her friends too?
What if she’s not?
What if she doesn’t drink?
Oh shit, she’s out of SLC, I bet she doesn’t drink.
Oh my God, she’s working right now.
She’s working on that feature that I promised my customers 3 months ago.
She’s working right now and I’m sitting here talking shit about my old boss.
“Hey, you okay? You were staring off into space there for a while. We’re getting another round, you want one?”
…
I have a theory.
It’s a bit outlandish, but I am starting to see it in other people.
I have felt it for a long time.
But now, I’m starting to see it be the catalyst for reversion.
People get addicted to the feeling of accomplishment that comes from executing the duties of a job.
I don’t blame them.
That’s the whole point of this thing called a job.
When you leave traditional employment and strike out on your own, this feeling of accomplishment doesn’t come along for the ride.
I don’t know why.
You don’t know why.
All we know is it’s gone now.
And it’s not coming back.
Never.
Nothing you ever do is enough anymore.
You work 10x as hard as you used to.
You do 10x as many roles as you used to.
You are freaking working Sunday mornings now to try to get this feeling back.
This feeling of accomplishment is a strong drug.
I think it’s a freaking drug people.
I miss it.
I was addicted to it too.
I used to go home feeling awesome.
I used to put my head down at night without thinking about work.
I used to be able to take an afternoon off knowing I crushed it that morning.
I used to go have drinks with friends and be totally in the moment.
Something changes when you strike out on your own.
That feeling leaves.
The feeling is only given to people with job descriptions, managers, bosses, teammates, peers, and dashboards.
I have a theory.
Well, it’s a hunch really.
There’s a class of people who strike out on their own.
But they don’t make it.
They can’t stomach it.
They last for a while.
And shit, they build successful businesses.
But they can’t do it anymore.
They can’t stomach the voice inside their head telling them that it’s not enough.
It’s never enough.
Someone’s working harder than you.
What did you accomplish today?
What did you accomplish this week?
You’re strung out.
Hungry, desperate for that feeling.
That feeling of accomplishment that used to sail you through the evening, through the weekend, through the vacations.
You knew you were crushing it.
Everyone knew it.
But now you don’t know anymore.
It’s different.
How do you measure success?
How do you measure progress?
Are you on par with your competitors?
Is the playing field even?
You miss the feeling of accomplishment.
And you can’t stomach it anymore.
You see an ad on LinkedIn that says,
“Picture yourself at LinkedIn!”
[Facepalm].
The thought enters into your head like a worm.
I miss the perks, I do.
I miss the stability, I do.
I miss the camaraderie, I do.
But most of all, I miss the accomplishment.
Man, I miss that feeling of accomplishment.
…
I implore our entrepreneurial community to embrace this reality before they strike out on their own. Or at the very least, to know you’re not alone in feeling this way. It’s the worst. Can you ever work hard enough? Probably not. Will you ever feel totally accomplished? Probably not.
But don’t let this be the reason you go back to a day job. Don’t let this be the reason you leave us behind. We need you. Our world needs you. We are building the future. We are making people’s lives better. We need more makers.
We need you.
The feeling of accomplishment that you become addicted to in school, sports, W-2 work, it all goes out the window when you go into business for yourself.
It’s gone and it’s never coming back.
Sure, maybe you’ll get a big hit of the drug when you exit or take money off the table.
But is that hope really enough to sustain you through the withdrawals?
Be strong and know it’s not just you.
This is a cross you’ve taken up.
It’s a responsibility you’ve given yourself.
No one forced you to do this.
But if you’re like me, you know without a shadow of a doubt, it’s what you were made to do.
Learn to be at peace with it.
This world is not the same as your old world.
You can’t compare the two.
Your friends will change.
Your lifestyle will change.
Your thoughts will change.
You will change.
But be at peace with it.
The withdrawals will come. They come for all of us.
You can’t avoid it.
And I don’t know of any rehab facilities.
But you knew this wasn’t gonna be easy.
You knew that this was the road less traveled.
So screw accomplishment and go build shit that changes the world.