I’ll be honest.
I’m guilty.
It’s a hard bullet to dodge.
Kinda like walking out in the pouring rain and expecting not to get wet.
It’s just not gonna happen.
You’re gonna get wet.
Unless you live your entire life indoors.
You will get wet.
How much of our world is built by the expectations of other people?
Sure we might be laying the brick.
But who’s writing the blueprint?
When you struck out on your own, why did you do it?
Did your parents want you to?
Did your partner want you to?
Did you watch The Social Network and want to be the hero?
I’m not saying you should be ashamed if any of this strikes a chord.
Remember walking out into the rain and expecting not to get wet?
It doesn’t happen.
We all get wet.
Regardless of how hard we try to defend against it.
The role of influence in our life is an important one.
And a freaking strong one.
Regardless of how hard we may try.
We can’t completely protect ourselves from it.
By nature, we want to please other people.
It makes us feel good.
It makes others feel good.
It’s human nature.
Biologically programmed.
But what about the butterfly effect?
What if you want to write a novel but you’re convinced by others you should write a screenplay?
What if you make millions of dollars on your screenplay?
What if your screenplay catapults your career and makes you famous?
What if your screenplay changes thousands of people’s lives?
Does that mean that you did the right thing?
Does that mean that you’re living your destiny?
The sad truth is sometimes it’s the ones who love us most that can hold us back the most.
The ones that are there for you in the hard times.
The ones that will give you the shirt off their back.
The ones that prove this life is worth living.
How much of what we do is influenced by a desire to please our parents?
Our best friend?
Our spouse?
Our brother?
Our mentors?
How much of what we do gets ever so slightly influenced away from our true vision?
We know we can’t go outside in the rain and not get wet.
That’s a fact.
A given.
A constant.
So how much of our world is different because we can’t help but get wet?
As much as people may try.
Truly, honestly, deeply try.
And even make a living trying.
We just can’t get inside each other’s heads.
We can’t know what other people know.
See what other people see.
Hear what other people hear.
Dream what other people dream.
We just can’t do it.
But we try!
We have to.
That’s how we attempt to understand each other.
So there’s a disconnect.
And with that disconnect, advice is given.
Influence is placed.
Coordinates are changed.
Would this world be different?
Would this world be different if we didn’t go outside?
If we never got wet?
If we created things uninfluenced by others.
Uninfluenced by our well intentioned loved ones.
They care about us.
They love us.
We are their blood.
We are part of them.
They want what’s best for us.
They want us to change the world.
To be a difference.
To leave this place better than we found it.
But sadly, it’s our good intentions that alter the course of history.
These aren’t big changes that we influence.
Just small tweaks.
Here and there.
Nothing big.
Just small tweaks.
But as we understand with the butterfly effect.
One small change can have drastic, long-term impact.
If you’ve heard the airplane example.
You know that an airplane flying 1 degree off course.
On a trip from LAX to NYC.
Will end up 50 miles off course.
How far off course would you end up over a lifetime of being 1 degree off course.
Okay so now what.
We’ve established we have to go outside.
We can’t help people from inside a cardboard box.
We’ve established we can’t help but get wet.
Regardless of how much rain gear we put on.
And you’re telling me that getting even a little wet could change everything?
Yes.
I am.
What can we do about it?
This is the question that really matters here.
What can we do about it?
We could ignore people?
Ignore our friends, family, loved ones.
That could work?
We could invest in better rain gear?
Waterproof boots, massive umbrella, drench-coat.
Okay, that would help.
But maybe it’s best just to be aware?
We tend to like to optimize for everything.
Optimize for sleep.
Optimize for health.
Optimize for work.
Us type-A’s, we are professional optimizers.
Is this a situation where we give up the optimizing and embrace the rain?
Maybe.
Maybe that’s it.
Be aware.
Be aware that the people who love us most can sometimes hurt us the most.
Be aware that good intentions can have negative impact.
Be aware that no one, and I mean NO ONE can get inside our heads and see it from our perspective.
Hell, we couldn’t paint the picture for others if we tried.
What if we were just hyper-aware that well-intentioned people could knock us off course.
Not 90 degrees off course.
We are stronger than that.
But 2 degrees off?
1 degree off?
Consider for a second.
How far off your intended destination you’d be.
After 85 years of walking just 1 degree off course.
And most of us creators wouldn’t exactly say we are walking.
Would we?
How often do you stop and ask yourself:
Is this really me?
Is this me?
Am I following my dreams?
Or someone’s dreams for me?
What am I chasing?
Money?
Status?
Power?
What’s driving me?
Am I still on course?
We are billions of people running around in a large mob unintentionally knocking each other just a couple degrees off our intended course.
And the world in front of us is a result of people attempting to get to their final destination after being knocked off course just a few degrees here and there.
Did they get back on course?
Did they course correct?
Did they still make it to their final destination?
Did it really change anything in the end?
Could our world be better as a result?
When’s the last time you looked down at your compass?
Who is in your life that’s trying to help you but could be knocking you off course?
When our time on this earth ends, how far will we be from our final destination?
We really can’t know.
Maybe just being aware is enough?
For all our sakes, I sure hope it is.