It’s a question we’ve all heard before,
But I think very few realize its incredible power.
And I’m not talking about power for good, unfortunately.
The problem with this question is very subtle and is missed by far too many.
And if people really understood what this question does, they would be far more cautious to ask it. The most powerful weapons in the world are the human mouth and the computer keyboard. Nick Redwine
This question causes controversy – a lot of controversy.
If it didn’t, Forbes and other media outlets wouldn’t use it in their headlines.
They aren’t stupid.
If they wrote articles that didn’t create controversy, no one would read them.
“Is he self-made?”
Personally, my issue with this question, and specifically, this word, is that while it is usually used to compliment someone,
To pat them on the back and say, “Hey nice work! You did this on your own!”
What it really does is puts the person and their achievements into a frame of mind where we can disarm them and discredit them.
“Oh of course she’s not self-made! She used her last name!”
“No, he’s not self-made, he inherited 100K when his dad died!”
“Everyone says they’re self-made but their parents bought their ivy league admission.”
“Is she self-made?”
The problem with this question is that it gives people an out.
It gives people a justification as to why someone is flying a private jet home for Thanksgiving, while the rest of us are packed in like sardines waiting for our Southwest flight to board.
Oh, by the way, I’m B-33, what are you?
The problem with this question is that it draws the focus to the wrong thing.
Whether people earned their current status or whether they inherited it.
This is the wrong question to be asking.
It’s the wrong question to be focusing on.
It’s the wrong question to be thinking about.
Being called “Self-made” by people is kinda like graduating from high school with honors.
Yeah, wow it’s great to have that special gold sash at graduation.
It makes you feel like a badass to have a different color sash than everyone else.
But once you go home, no one will ever care again.
It won’t get you a job.
It won’t help you help more people.
It won’t make you more money.
It won’t matter.
It will end up in a cardboard box buried deep somewhere in your attic.
Never again to be seen by anyone.
Never again to be worn.
“Are they self-made?”
The reason this is the wrong question is because at the end of the day,
It doesn’t matter what we were given at the beginning of our journey.
Some people are going to be given a last name and lots of money.
Some people are going to be given a “normal” childhood with great memories.
Some people are going to be given an incredible voice.
Some people are going to be given wonderful parents.
Some people are going to be given world-class athletic ability.
Some people are going to be given jaw-dropping artistic abilities.
My point here is, whether you know it or not, you have been given something that other people haven’t.
You have something that other people don’t.
And if you don’t believe me, then you aren’t looking hard enough.
Everyone and I mean EVERYONE has been given an advantage of some sort.
I am a 6’1″ white boy from Tulsa, Oklahoma and I went to OU to compete in the Decathlon.
My Olympic medal-winning coach and I used to laugh because of the vast difference in natural athletic ability between me and some of the men I competed against.
I often got my ass kicked.
And I mean kicked.
We laughed because something we both knew and agreed on was that everyone is born with different eggs in their basket.
Something I haven’t really told many people is that during practice on finals week, he would often let me out early to go study.
He and I both knew I wasn’t going pro in Track and Field.
You’ve seen the commercials.
“X% of NCAA Division 1 college athletes will go pro in something other than their sport.”
I was part of this “X%”.
Some people are given the athletic egg.
Some people are given the intelligence egg.
Some people are given the entrepreneurial egg.
Some people are given the creativity egg.
Some people are given the musical egg.
Some people are given the people egg.
We are all born with different eggs in our baskets.
So it’s not our job to determine whether someone is self-made or not.
It’s our job to figure out what eggs were put in our basket and decide what we’re going to do with them.
It doesn’t matter what we were given at the beginning of our journey,
It matters what we do with what we were given.
It matters what we do with what we were given.
So let me ask you a question.
What are you going to do with what you were given?